balance.

Recently I realized that my website hadn’t been updated since 2011. And 2011 feels like a long time ago. Actually, it is a long time ago! So, I have created this new online space. It’s simple, but at least it is up to date.

Hopefully I’ll even find time to share my music, and my thoughts on  creating, and motherhood, and maybe other things too.

My son Max was born in the summer of 2014, and even though he was a delightfully easy going baby, and I was much better prepared this time around, it was still a shock how busy I was with now two children to care for. IMG_8269

Somehow I finished off Stolen Materials/Stolen Time, a commission for Standing Wave (mostly in the wee hours of the morning, which was the only time I could get a guaranteed chunk of uninterrupted time).

And then I chose to do something quite radical.

I took time off.

I didn’t compose any music for seven months (the longest I have ever gone). And I didn’t go to any concerts. And I didn’t really do composerly things. And during this time I went through a radical shift. I thought a lot about why I write music, why the world needs music, and what music I want to write.

And by not writing music for seven months, I discovered  that really it comes down to my own need to create and express. Without that regular time spent carefully crafting a new work I don’t feel like myself. Returning to my practice of composing centred me again. It is a process filled with angst, frustration, and struggle, but it is a process I need in order to feel balanced.

When I started writing again I found a renewed focus, a stronger sense of what I want to write, and a deeper commitment to my own sound and voice.

A few weeks ago, my new piece Held in the Hand,  for Santoor and String Quartet, was premiered by the Vancouver Cultural Orchestra, and in January the Thin Edge New Music Collective will premiere holding, which is part of a new collaborative piece, the moments inside the moments inside the moments inside the moments, with wonderful composers Marci Rabe and Kristy Farkas.

 

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